We are entering Aquarius, the visionary of the zodiac. The one who can see into the future. As a consequence of this, I have been prompted to meditate on the impact of my actions a little more. A Dear teacher of mine spoke about invisiging the effect that my present day actions may have on people living 7 generations from now, and the planet, 7 generations from now. That was an impactful thought. I have found myself, since that statement, becoming acutely aware of everything I throw ‘away’. Where is ‘away’, after all? There IS no ‘away’! We live on this Earth, the waste we generate stays on this Earth- there is nowhere see to put it.
Facebook is covered in photos of turtles swimming through plastic floatsam. Now IS the time to act, tomorrow is too late. Today I have been repeatedly shocked at how easily and freely I open the bin to put things in- when perhaps I never needed to bring those things into my orbit to start with. I know I can’t overhaul it all in a day, so I started small. Today I ordered a ‘no junk mail’ sticker for my letterbox, and contacted Royal Mail to ask for a form to apply to opt out of receiving flyers from the postman. It’s a start, wish me luck 🙂
big love to all, Lisa
There is nothing to say from here. Words rise and then fall away, noiselessly- I look on. I feel sensation arising in the body. Fear and guilt and all manner of qualities. I look on. Nothing to say from here.
I was going to tell you about my blood test, but now it has passed. I sit on the sofa in quietude, gently pondering my plans for the next few days. I can feel the temptation to get into thinking about it. To begin worrying about it. To start trying to control it. I must resist the pull- there is nothing but pain there. Once I am caught by a thought, once I believe just one- I am sucked as if by quicksand, into misery. Best thing to do for me, for now, is to touch not any thoughts at all.
I was reading through fellow bloggers posts this morning, finding such beauty in the words of these complete strangers. Strangers in one way, yet I know them all- the way they weave their words, describing with such eloquence, the beauty of Being and the challenge of our shared humanity.
Then (and he didn’t come as a surprise), I notice a greyness approaching…a familiar voice comes in- I would bet everything that you know him too. He is the one that says, in one form or another – that you are ‘not good enough’. I watch him creep into my awareness subtly. He is grey and sly, he sneaks in through the back door. If I wasn’t paying attention he could get in unnoticed- then before I realised what was happening- he would have sprawled himself out on the sofa, dropped crumbs everywhere, turned the tv up too loud, and basically taken over my home.
But I did catch him this time, and, as innocuous as he may appear at first, I know that if I believe his gentle enough opening lines, he has got me- I will find myself inviting him to stay, and- based on previous experience- he is one of the hardest house guests to evict- he is one who long overstays his welcome.
I look at him and see his weakness. His bold, harsh, critical words- all a masquerade.
I’m not interested.
He came in to tell me that my writing ‘isnt as good as other people’s’, I look him square in the eye and say ‘so what? It is an expression moving through me right now, I’m not in competition.’ That flummoxes him- he has no power without my collusion, and he has no choice but to slip silently away. Leaving me to free the stream of words onto the page. I have no doubt he will be back, but he isn’t getting supper in my house anymore- he will have to find seek his nourishment elsewhere.